(Sunday, April 7th)
"God, I don't know where I
am going or what I am supposed to do, so please open and close doors, as You
will, so that I can know where I am to go."
I think we've all prayed prayers at some point in time that we may
or may not totally understand--even as the words roll off our lips. For
me, the revelation of the later came after I heard myself complain shortly
after praying that surrender prayer: “God, come on! What do you expect me to
do? You gotta open up some doors here!”
Hmmmm, God’s gotta? and what about that first prayer,
“open and CLOSE doors as YOU will”...? Kinda makes me wonder just
how well I understood what I was actually praying.
I don’t know whether God was
trying to test me by making me own-up to what I was praying, or whether He just
really wanted me where He had put me by closing doors and opening others—not the
doors I was expecting Him to change, I might add.
In this short-term trial, my
frustration ebbed when I started seeing the fruits of God’s wisdom in keeping
me right where I had been re-planted. In the long-term sense, the experience has
pushed me to start praying more for strength, trust, and Faith in Him and His
infinitely good plan. I don’t know for sure, but the next trial may not have
such a quick turnaround time from frustration to harvesting the fruits of God’s
plan.
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