I pray imperfect but still received the perfect sacrifice

Mass in buffalo

Sunday was my last day in buffalo, NY; this day was 41 degrees and wet. 8:50 I entered the cold empty church and sat in the ice hard pew. After taking pictures of the intimidating alter I knelt on down to pray, my knees started to warm. This moment is always so amazing, the words spoken in my mind's forest creates a clearing in the path of life. Looking to my left I see the choir, one is holding a saxophone and the other at the piano. Mass starts, we stand, this amazing voice travels with the saxophone and weaves throughout. As soon as the acoustics kissed my skin a crackle creaked out of a speaker to my right. I was bothered for a second, but words and harmony focused my attention.

The priest spoke with a thick accent and my brain had to fill in the gaps. The readings began; the first was not understood. The second started and stated " Brothers and sisters: Have no anxiety at all, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, make your requests known to God. Then the peace of God that surpasses all understanding will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus. ". The Gospel spoke of how God made the the vineyard so the fruit shall be given to God. The fruits of faith are in this life because in the next we will know where the fruit comes from. We must live as a servant or a righteous tenant and always pray even if it is not perfect. After the readings I received the perfect servant.

Aug. 7: The first reading

"Then the LORD said, 'Go outside and stand on the mountain before the LORD; the LORD will be passing by.' A strong and heavy wind was rending the mountains and crushing rocks before the LORD - but the LORD was not in the wind. After the wind there was an earthquake - but the LORD was not in the earthquake. After the earthquake there was fire - but the LORD was not in the fire. After the fire there was a tiny whispering sound. When he heard this, Elijah hid his face in his cloak and went and stood at the entrance of the cave." -1 Kings 19:11-13

When we wait for God to speak to us or give us a sign, what do we listen for? What do we look for? We tend to wait on God to give us a large sign in front of our face and to speak to us loud and clear. But God has the tendency to come in the silence and speak softly......He doesn't always come in a strong wind, earthquake, or fire. Surprisingly, He often comes in the simple whisper.

Dear God, help us to remember to listen closely so we can hear your voice.....

July 31: Meals

The gospel today was about the 5 loaves and 2 fish that Jesus transformed into a meal for thousands of people. People eating a meal together is such a great thing. For some reason, people value meal time. The traditional family eats dinner together and discusses the events of the day. Date nights often consist of dinner at a restaurant. Groups of friends get together on the weekends to hang out at Buffalo Wild Wings. Why is mealtime so important to people? Because it brings them together to talk and get to know each other better.

Mass each Sunday is a meal too. Together, we Catholics receive communion, a meal that can bring us closer to Jesus and also to each other. This is why it is so important for Catholics to go to Mass. We need this connection with Jesus and other Catholics like we need connections with our family and friends.

Food brings people together :)

July 10 : Parables

The priest at Mass today gave us the definition of a parable. From what I remember, it went something like this: A parable is a simile or metaphor drawn from nature or common life that conveys thought. Hmmmmm.....so Jesus spoke in parables because He wanted us think! He wanted us to dig deeper into the truth. He wanted us to be able to relate His teachings to what we already know. Jesus is a genius :)

May 29: Second Reading

"Always be ready to give an explanation to anyone who asks you for a reason for your hope, but do it with gentleness and reverence..." 1 Peter 3: 15-16




This verse stuck out to me at Mass today. Yes, we need to hope in God, but do we know why? And that applies to every aspect of our Christian faith--do we know why we believe what we believe? Can we explain and defend our faith? We need to be prepared for situations where our Christianity will be questioned.




I feel like I have been questioned about my beliefs quite a bit in the past five years. This challenges me to dig deeper into my faith to find explanations for the world's questions. Like Peter says, we need to speak with "gentleness and reverence" when explaining our faith. You don't need to argue and speak forcefully to be heard. Speak out of love and peace, and the Holy Spirit will be your guidance.

Power of the Priest--Sunday 22 May

Last Sunday’s first reading (Acts 6) dealt with vocations. The apostles, who needed uninterrupted time to pray and do God’s work, realized that not only does God’s work entail listening to Him and taking His word to the people, but to fulfill the human needs of the people as well. As a result, seven men were appointed to take up this other part of God’s work and fulfill these human needs, while the others went on with praying and fulfilling the spiritual needs of the people.

There are so many people capable of filling the human needs of the world, but how few can fulfill the spiritual needs of the world today! When I think of those whom I trust to influence, guide, lead, or challenge me, without question, they are often priests. Its seems strange at first but if you look deeper into the mission of the priest, his foremost job is to do all four of these things because he is called to do what Jesus would do. Though it is the authority of the Church that leads the people, the ones who are entrusted to carry it out are the priests. The ones with all the political pressure may be the faces we see on  TV, but it’s the parish priests who have the real, worldly pressure. It is the parish priest who has to lay it on the line to the faces he sees and personally knows, and who know his faults, and still tell them the hard facts about right and wrong and the teachings of the Faith—no matter what his personal feelings or habits may be concerning the matter.

The priest is so very important, crucial, he is so very powerful. He comes from such a long line of authority, and with power invested in him through the Catholic Church, it is easy to forget that he is human and he can fall too. With the level of responsibility a single priest has in bringing the Word and the teachings of the Church—untainted to the people—it is no wonder the Apostles wished to simplify their lives in order to spend extra time in prayer.

So let us not forget to pray for our brothers the priests, they have such a powerful position to hold without room for error. It is in our best interest, and theirs, to uphold them in prayer, fasting, and support so that they may not fall, so that we may not fall.

May 22

From the Sunday Gospel:


...Philip said, 'Lord, show us the Father and then we shall be satisfied.' Jesus said to him,'Have I been with you all this time, Philip, and you still do not know me? 'Anyone who has seen me has seen the Father, so how can you say, "Show us the Father"?...

When hearing the Gospel, I felt like saying, "Philip, come on! The Father, Son, and Holy Spirit are one. It is that simple!" But then I thought about it and realized how complicated that really is. I have been taught this concept since I was born, but if I had never heard about the Trinity until now, I would have been confused also. It is funny how when you are taught things when you are growing up, you just accept them and don't question them. For Philip and all of Jesus' disciples, it was hard to truly understand these new teachings.

As we grow up, we need to understand that not everyone grasps the teachings of Christianity as easily as others. If they haven't been raised in the Church, the Church's teachings can seem so foreign. I need to put myself in their shoes and be patient like Jesus was in helping them understand the Truth....

My Way or the Highway--Saturday May 14th

Remember when you were 9 years old and you had that friend who had to have everything his/her way? “You have to listen to me; I’m the boss.” If you didn’t, you probably wanted to tell that kid “whatever loser” and walk away. Later in life, you probably met some people whose actions weren’t very Christian but when you called them out on it, they said “Jesus and I are tight. We’re friends and He understands me, so my lifestyle is ‘ok’ with Him.”

In the Gospel today, Jesus says, like the 9 year old, “You are My friends if you do what I command.” So why is it that His followers didn’t ask for a compromise or say “whatever loser” and walk away? Why does this sound so different than “We’re tight; He understands me and is ‘ok’ with everything I do”? I think Jesus’ statement should give us a perspective on our friendship with Him. It is like no other.

Because we are friends with Jesus doesn’t mean we take His words with a grain of salt and treat Him like we might our other friends: walk away so He gets the point that He’s asking for too much. Our friendship isn’t supposed to be based on a mutual understanding that one side of the friendship is a comfortably-confessed slacker either. Jesus didn’t come to say “I know you are sinners, I understand that so please know I love you and keep doing what you do best; I’ll take care of the rest.” He doesn’t leave room for slacking off; He said He came to show the way (and He laid down His life as example) and He said “You are My friends IF you do what I command.” When you were 9, you probably weren't convinced you wanted to give up your say in everything so that you could enjoy whatever plans your friend wanted to be boss of, so it was hard to surrender your will to his/her discretion. Jesus basically says it's my way or the highway if you want to participate in My plans, so I guess there is just one question: will you be His friend and agree to His commands?

May 1: 2nd Sunday of Easter

"Let no soul fear to draw near to Me, even though its sins be as scarlet. My mercy is so great that no mind, be it of man or angel, will be able to fathom it throughout all eternity." - Jesus' words to St. Faustina

I absolutely love Divine Mercy Sunday! It is one of my favorite Sundays of the year. When I read about God's Divine Mercy, I find it hard to believe that God can forgive so easily. I guess it challenges me to become a more forgiving person.

Today's Gospel was about "Doubting" Thomas. Because he wasn't there when the apostles saw Jesus alive, Thomas refused to believe without seeing. So, Jesus lovingly appeared to Thomas to prove that He rose from the dead. And what did Jesus say? Did He yell at Thomas and tell him he was an idiot for not believing? No. Jesus said, "Peace be with you." Wow, Jesus is just full of mercy! He was able to be loving and understanding, whereas many of us would have probably gave Thomas a hard time for being to ignorant to Jesus' divine power.

Let us learn to be merciful like the Lord!

Easter!

What would you say the ultimate power is? What gift would make you above all others? What I oftentimes see in movies is that people want to be able to stop death. Think Star Wars III for a moment. Anakin thinks he has every power but that one power that will make him truly happy--the power to stop death. He soon finds out that power is unattainable.

Jesus was able to conquer death! No other has ever done such a thing! Jesus came out of his tomb this Easter morning. Also, a few Sundays ago, Jesus was able to bring Lazarus back to life.....Jesus could bring Himself and others back to life. What a cool power!

Jesus has the ultimate power; Jesus is the ultimate being :)

Holy Thursday / Good Friday

Jesus to the apostles while He is washing their feet: "What I am doing, you do not understand now, but you will understand later."

Have you ever been told something years ago that you just finally understood recently? It seems like that has been happening a lot to me lately. Concepts that never really made sense to me now seem so clear.

Jesus knows that the truth is not easy to grasp. The Trinity, the beginning of the world, life after death.......things like this are complicated, and God doesn't expect us to fully understand all of the truths right now. We will understand more and more in life as we dig deeper into the Bible and the church's teachings, but we will not know everything until after we die. Although it doesn't all make sense now, Jesus promises that we will understand later.

I can't wait to truly understand all of God's truths! Yes, I believe in everything the Catholic church teaches, but some things are just difficult to grasp. I have so many questions to ask God! Someday everything will make perfect sense......

Jesus on the cross: “Forgive them Father, for they know not what they do.”

Here we go again. We humans can be so ignorant sometimes. We don't always know what we are really doing on this earth. We make mistakes. If only we could see everything through God's eyes, we wouldn't be so careless with our lives.

I challenge you: Try to see through God's eyes. Try to dig deeper into your faith to understand the truths. God knows what He is doing, and He want to teach you His ways. Put your faith in Him!

The Passion

Such a good, Good Friday. Today I experienced a live stations of the cross; each station is a verse of a poem. Under God's perception Jesus is perfection and the Passion is the rhyme. Jesus taught us Passion with beauty, sincerity and love. God gave us love, a real love that speaks to all generations and types of cultures. Christianity is like a smile; recognized by cave men who connects with the land or a theoretical physicists who connects with the mind. A deacon told me truth is like a beach ball, as we toss with fellowship we see different colors, thank God I was granted the strength play a role of a life time and see a new color. :)

Inspired by Fr. Leo Clifford

A woman was having visions of Christ and was having trouble trusting this perspective; she knew the need for guidance was undeniable. Turning to her local bishop the answer was found and directions were laid out. The very clever bishop had an idea, "within the next vision, ask Christ witch sin held me at a standstill in my calling" she said ok and had a vision that night. Christ standing before her answered the question simply and beautifully, "I don't remember".


God forgives us before we forget.
Mercy is Divine, truth is beauty.

April 10: Mass Music

Today at Mass, the music was wonderful! A band from another church came to play, and everyone really appreciated them for coming. It was great to hear the congregation singing along.

As a church organist and pianist, I may be somewhat bias, but I have to say that music is very important at church. Some people open the hymnal for every song and sing at the top of their lungs, but others don't even touch the hymnals in the pews and awkwardly twiddle their thumbs during the songs. Overall, I think some people forget why music is part of our Mass. It is not for entertainment or for musicians to show off. The music has much greater purpose than that. These are some reasons why Catholics sing at Mass:

1. Prayer. Singing christian music to God is prayer. You may often hear the phrase, "Singing is praying twice." Many people throughout the Bible sang their prayers to God. ("For this I will extol thee, O LORD, among the nations, and sing praises to thy name." -2 Samuel 22:50)

2. Unity. The Catholic church really promotes unity as a congregation. People come together at church every Sunday as a supportive community. We Catholics need each other to make it through this world......we are not meant to be alone. As a community, we pray together, and the easiest way to pray together is to sing. We have a beat to follow so we can all sing prayers to God as a group. Therefore, don't let the cantor be the only one singing........the congregation needs to do their part too.

3. Mood. Music sets the mood for the Mass. During Lent, you may hear more minor music, symbolizing that Lent is a difficult time. During big holidays like Christmas and Easter, you may hear more loud and fast music, symbolizing the joys of the season. Music is filled with emotion, so it has the power to influence people's feelings.

4. Mass theme. The music often helps indicate the theme of the readings. If the readings are about God being a light to the world, you may sing "I Am the Light of the World." If the readings are about blindness, you may sing "Open My Eyes." Most of the songs you sing at church are based off of Bible verses. The music helps you dig deeper into the meaning of the readings.

The music does not function as a concert where the organist/pianist/guitarist and the cantor/choir perform. In fact, part of the reason why many churches were built with choir lofts was so the musicians would not be seen.....only the music would be heard. The music is meant for the whole congregation to take part in.

Even if you don't like to sing, or are self conscience about your singing voice, open that hymnal at Mass and recite the words to the songs in your head. You can sing to God in your heart with the voices of the rest of the congregation.

...I am going to leave you with one of my favorite Bible verses...

"Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly, teach and admonish one another in all wisdom, and sing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs with thankfulness in your hearts to God." -Colossians 3:16

Grasping Prayer (Sunday, April 10)

Prayer is often difficult to balance for me. How often we hear pray for this, that, and the other thing several times every day? By the end of the day I feel like I should have said about four Rosaries and two Masses to cover everything, so what is the balance? How much does God want us to pray and for what things? Today I heard a little analogy. (It didn't say anything about thankfulness, so I added my own thought on it.)

* It goes like this: start with your open hand. Think about what God has placed in it/given you or is trying to give you and thank Him for it—even if it’s not what you want or can understand, it is part of His plan for your happiness, so thank Him for all of it regardless.

* Next, look at your thumb, its closest to you so pray for those whom you are closest to in any way (loved ones and enemies).

* On your pointer/index finger, pray for those who instruct, teach, or heal (teachers, doctors, parents, religious—those who help/heal and point out the way for us in the world; they need strength and support in their call to minister to others).

* On your tallest/middle finger, pray for those who are high in leadership (the president, politicians, Pope; anyone in charge of anything important. They too need guidance and support to courageously lead and guide the rest of the world.)

* On your ring finger, which is also the weakest finger of your hand, pray for those who are weak, sick, in need, or trouble.

* Finally on your pinkie finger, the smallest and the last, pray for yourself. After you have prayed for everyone and everything else, you will have put your own requests into proper perspective and effectively put yourself as the least of all.  I hope this helps you simplify and improve your prayer life! 

May God Bless You Abundantly for You Efforts! =)

Is Seeing Believing? (Sunday April 3)

A verse from a song sung at Mass jumped out at me: “Give me ears to listen, give me eyes to see, give me words to speak and show Your face to me.”

Why would we pray this if we can look in the mirror and see we have ears, we have eyes, and if we open our mouths, we can speak?

In 1 Samuel 16:1-13, we hear about a man who is following God “blindly”—He willingly and obediently goes to do the Lord’s work yet he cannot trust his own senses. It is not what his human eyes or ears or perhaps even touch perceive in the sons of Jesse, but of what his internal ear heard: God telling him to listen to Him, look elsewhere; that God sees not at the appearance or stature, but the heart.

It is not what we can do that is important, but what we are asked to do.

God gave us eyes and ears and speech in varying degrees, so that we can see, hear, and speak. He gave us free will so that we can choose when we will or will not use these gifts. He also gives us a role to play in His plan, if we offer our free wills to it. This role goes beyond what we can perceive, in order to portray His plan in His time. A few weeks after David’s anointment, some may have forgotten Samuel even came to town that day. To someone passing through, there would be no cause for concern; maybe no cause even for interest. I imagine they might say in passing: “A king in a boy? God may be strong in him, but I don’t see a king.” Their senses, our senses, cannot perceive what God perceives: the big picture; His plan for all who know, love, and serve Him.

The final phrase of the song is prophetic yet human: “and show your face to me.” How human that we want to see. We want to see because we want to know—for sure. We want to SEE—like God sees and yet in a way that we can understand. Who could understand why a shepherd, a youth, would be called to be king when there were other more likely candidates?

The prophetic part is that if we follow God, not with our senses but with His guidance, we will SEE. I am sure Samuel didn’t see where God was going with this unlikely anointment. But he didn’t argue or falter or try to reason with God’s ways. It may not be important to sit down and identify all the “Davids” in our lives. After all, how can we even see them to identify them? It is important, I think, to be like Samuel: always obeying even if it is counter-intuitive.  In reality, God just wants us to realize what we can do with our own senses is very limited: we can perceive a man and a boy. But, thinking back to the impact of Samuel’s obedience, what we can do in obedience to God, now that is truly unlimited.

March 27

Hope. I love the concept of hope. Hope is confidence that the future will be good. God gives us hope, but we don't always see it. Sometimes we are like the Israelites, doubting that God is leading us in the right direction. Where is our hope in God? God knows what He is doing, and we need to trust in His plans. Although you think God isn't around, you need to pray to Him and trust Him because he will give you great rewards in the end. We are all thirsting for something in this world. Many people think it is money and worldly things, but really we just need God. God will quench our thirst with pure, fresh water. All this world can give us is saltwater. So fill your bodies with pure water from God :)

Massah and Mer'ibah (March 27)

Paraphrasing the Israelite's plea: "Why did you make us leave?" would probably capture what many of us are thinking and feeling when we step off the "mountain" [see last Sunday's reflection about the Transfiguration].  When we are so close to God in the Mass, in Adoration, or some other quite place where we meet Him, it is easier to hear Him and want to follow His Will--even if it sounds hard. There in His presence, it sounds do-able and in that intimacy, we can feel Him empowering and strengthening us. It is when we leave the mountain that we find ourselves in our own little place(s) of Massah and Mer'ibah. We cry out "why did you make us leave?" We can't hear God speaking to us clearly and, like the Israelites, we wonder "is the Lord among us or not?" We want to do His will but how can we if we cannot go to the mountain to hear or see Him?

Not all of us can go to our "mountain" daily. The Mass, Adoration, and those long, quite spells with God may not be able to fit daily into our naturally busy lives of family, school, work--all essential parts of our lives--but God knows this, and like the Israelites, He is with us. We may not be able to go to the mountain like we want to, but we can still go to the smaller version of the mountain: the rock. Maybe your "rock" is quick prayers throughout the day, maybe it is a few minutes of quiet prayer before your day begins. Just remember, God gave us a "mountain" like He gave Peter, James, and John, but don't forget, to the Israelites, He gave a rock, and from it flowed life-giving water...and for that day, it was enough. 

Transfigured (March 20th)

From all of His followers, Jesus took only Peter, James, and John to a high mountain. There on this serene, beautiful mountain, Peter, James, and John could be with Christ; listen to Him, SEE Him without the distractions of the world. They knew they were favored and loved because from everyone, Jesus chose them. In other words, they were about as intimate with Jesus in that moment as anyone could be. It is here, in this place and time, that Peter says: "Lord, it is good we are here."

Struggling to follow God's plans and Will in my life, I often find myself retreating to my own "mountain" to be intimately with God for as long as time permits: at Mass, in Adoration Chapel, or in a solid block of quiet time with Him. I want to stay there in that intimacy with Christ and I wonder, "If I truly loved Him, how could I choose to leave Him and go out into the world? How could I choose to live a life as anyone but a contemplative nun who can spend everyday on the "mountain" in that intimacy with Christ?" I often wrestled with this wondering if I didn't love Christ enough to choose a life where I could stay on the "mountain" with Him. But I realize now, though "it is good we are here" with Jesus, Christ doesn't say to Peter, James, and John, "Let us build a camp here so you three can live here and enjoy Me for the rest of your lives." No, Jesus takes them down off the mountain and we see Him and them going out to the world to touch and heal it; to live and give life to it.

So where is God calling you? Is He calling you to live on the mountain; to pour your life and love into all who seek refuge there, or is He calling you to flow from the mountain like a spring, a conduit of His living water? Is He calling you to be His hands and feet to this broken world by leaving the mountain like the first 3 visitors? Only you and God can know for sure, so take some time, go the mountain: wherever you can hear God best, and ask...and you shall receive!

March 20: What I learned from the homily

Today's homily was about listening, so of course I did my best to listen intently! One thing many people, including me, struggle with is listening to God speak. Just spending quiet time with God can be so hard these days. You have to turn off your ipod and the tv and clear your mind. You can spend your prayer time chatting to God the whole time, but no one likes a one-sided conversation. You need to give God the chance to talk too. One of my favorite Bible verses is Psalm 46:11: "Be still and know that I am God." God is asking us to take time to be still......calm, quiet, relaxed......and reflect on Him and all He is. In doing this, God will speak softly to your heart, so open your ears to listen. God does have a lot to say. You just need to give Him the chance to speak.
Listening to others is another thing we need to be mindful of. How many times have you talked to a friend on the phone and searched the web at the same time. You can't really listen to all that your friend is saying if your are checking your facebook or email at the same time! We need to give others our full attention, proving to them that they are important. Giving others your full attention means a lot to them.......there is nothing better than knowing that someone truly cares.
So, go out today and listen..... :)

Feb 27, Eighth Sunday in Ordinary Time

The familiar lyrics to one of my favorite church songs jumped out to me: "Do not be afraid...I will call your name...I love you and you are Mine." Later, in some quiet time with God, I tried to understand what God wanted me to hear through these words I have already heard so often:

Do not be afraid—I know your needs, and I will provide for them and you like the sparrows if you trust Me. If you do not trust Me, how can you trust that what I provide is good “food” indeed? How can you live in this way without worry if you do not know what I present to you is not poison?

I have called you by name—I know your name, your desires, your trials, and your heart. I am calling you. I am not speaking to the multitudes; what I am calling you to, what I am saying to you, is for you, Emily, to make you happy, to challenge you, to teach you about Me. I want to lead you to life ever after with Me. I am calling you to do something that, if you trust me through as I hope you will, will lead you to heaven with Me.

I love you—I have carved you in the palm of my hand. Even if a mother forgets her child I. Will. Not. Forget. You. You are unforgettable, Emily. You are exactly as I knew you would be. I made this way. I am love. I only make lovely, lovable things. You are lovely. You are lovable and I love you.

You are Mine—You cannot run from me. You cannot hide. I will find you, but you can hurt me. You can reject me, deny me, refuse to try to love me. But you are mine. Just like you cannot NOT be Caucasian, you cannot NOT be Mine. I made you for Myself. I have loved you before and after I made you. I gave you everything that makes you. I chose your eyes, hair, skin, smile. I made you from my own material which I made with love. You are mine in every way. The only things I cannot make or claim, unless you give your consent, are: your love for Me, your trust in Me, your faith in Me, and where you desire to send your soul at the end of time.

March 6: Reflecting on the Gospel

Matthew 7:21

"Not everyone who says to me, 'Lord, Lord,' shall enter the kingdom of heaven, but he who does the will of my Father who is in heaven."

Imagine God has a facebook page, and He sends friend invites to everyone on facebook. You decide to accept His friend request because you heard he is a pretty cool guy and has a nice house. Over time, you send Him a sheep on farmville, you post "Happy Birthday" on His wall on Christmas day, and you "like" all of His statuses. Then one day your house burns down, leaving you without a home. Knowing that God has a nice house, you ask God if you can live with Him. Do you think God is going to let you live with Him just because facebook says you are friends? You don't ever talk to each other or even know much about each other! You don't have a personal relationship.

I once read in a book that the goal of our lives should be God and not His blessings. People may go to church or pray the rosary because they think they are getting bonus points with God, but their intentions should really be to build their friendship with God. What I mean is you shouldn't spend time with friends just so you can use them to borrow their stuff. You should spend time with them because you want to build a good friendship.

God's main concern is that we will become best friends with Him :)